The Royal..erm.. Afghan Treatment

Just three days ago it was International Women’s Day. I was looking forward to this day since last year! I told myself that I would do something big next year, but alas, things happen over time, and we forget. I almost forgot it was our big day until a witty young lady in my class told the professor, “I think all the women in the room should be given an extra five points since we just spent our time taking an exam during our special day…”. International Women’s Day is a wonderful holiday since, unlike Mother’s Day, it celebrates all women! It is a day to acknowledge the power and strength of women. 

This day reminded me of a little story I wanted to share with you guys. 

There were these two men–an Englishman and an Afghan man. The Englishman visited the Afghan man’s house one day and realized that his wife didn’t shake his hand or welcome the Englishman with a kiss on the cheek, but rather, said hello with a nod and a smile. He was always curious as to why Afghan women dressed modestly and were so conservative. This finally prompted him to ask the Afghan man, “How come your women cover themselves up?” The Afghan man smiled and took two pieces of chocolate. He unwrapped one and left the other wrapped and threw them on the plate in front of him.

“Which would you prefer?” 

“The wrapped one, of course!” 

“Okay then,” the Afghan man replied, “that is why our women dress modestly”

“Alright, so then answer me this, how come they don’t greet and shake hands with other men?”

“Well, do you shake the Queen’s hand?”

“No! She is the Queen of England”

“So then? Same applies for our women– we treat them like Queens; they don’t shake hands with just anyone.”

Afghan or not, all women are special, all are powerful, all are Queens at heart.

And no, unfortunately, we did not get those extra five points.

 

Peace & love,

Bena…

 

New Week, New Thoughts, New Love

As I began my Monday morning in class, I had a mini panic attack as I wrote down the date. Wow…my favorite month is almost coming to an end. And more importantly, have I even written a single post this month? The semester started recently and you can only imagine how busy I have been– but still, that is no excuse. You will be happy to know that I have set up a blogging schedule that I will hopefully stick to! Okay so enough of my excuses, let’s cut to the chase. I have been thinking of this post ever since the idea hit me when I was studying for my microbiology exam on February 13th! I will confess that I do not regret delaying this post only because if I wrote it the day I thought of it, it would have been a cocktail of incoherence and microbiology terminology. Okay, here goes: 

“That’s what happens when you vaccinate, your body makes memory cells so next time your body sense the infection, your body will give an amplified response and the infection will not stand a chance.”

Ah-ha! I got it! No, not the lecture material, I got an idea*lightbulb moment*. Valentine’s Day– a day of love, but can also be a depressing one for some unfortunate souls. Those who got their heart broken, were deceived, dumped, lied to, cheated on…erm..I’ll stop there (if it makes you feel any better, I am single as well). Anyways, as I was listening to my lecture recording, it hit me. If at any point in your life you have gone through a rough relationship or spent the best years of your life on that heartless soul, do not beat yourself up about it; don’t regret it. As a matter of fact, think of that person as your vaccine–your shot. It hurt right? Made you cry huh? But hey you know what? It made you stronger; you are now immune against jerks and d-bags. You are better. Your body was going along its merry way and thought it was protected; must have thought “hmm, nah, won’t happen to me”–but then it comes. That heartless person attacks you like a virus and you did not even see it coming. It’s okay…happens to the best of us. But after you are done fighting off that virus or infection, your body knows–you know. It is built in your memory; your memory cells recognized the virus, that parasite, and will prepare the next time it encounters that germ. You will have made antibodies, you will be strong, you will know. Infection was not strong enough to kill ya, but what does not kill you can only make you stronger. 

Enjoy the remainder of February; I know I sure will and will continue to carry the lovey dovey-ness even after the 28th. I simply can not help it–I am a girly girl and a month where the colors pink and red are celebrated…well, I could not have asked for anything better; although, a box of Ferrero Rocher would simply be heavenly.

 

Peace & LOVE,

~Bena…

Live, Laugh, Love, blah blah blah

Friend: I’m thinking of a quote..do you have any good quotes?

Me: why, for what?

F: I wanna put a quote for this picture..love without thinking..wait that’s not it..there was this quote that went like “lie without depending, love without spending and…” ARGHH so aggravated I can’t think..wait hold on..I gotta think

That was one of the rare moments I have seen her think that hard..I thought she was trying to figure out a calculus problem, but she was looking for a nice meaningful quote to place as a caption under her picture on Facebook. 

“Oh I got it! It goes like ‘live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending!”

Me:  Yeah.. that’s real good, maybe you should follow it too.

It’s interesting how these young kids search and scour through the internet for meaningful, thoughtful quotes about life, love, and finding oneself however they don’t understand it. They only read it but they do not understand it! They put these amazing quotes and sayings by famous and influential people to show their Facebook buddies that they think like that as well. It’s all about showing others how “smart” and “witty” you are, when in reality YOU don’t understand how to apply that meaningful quote into your own life. 

Most teens nowadays only see the surface, of anything, in this case let’s say a quote. They read the quote and they think, “wow I like that yeah that’s good…”  Why? Because they think to themselves, “that’s how I wanna live my life, yeah that’s the way I should live it and hey, that’s what I’m gonna make people think…that I live the good life.”

I feel bad for the preteens and teens of this generation and the one to come because  they are missing out on the true meaning of life. Do kids really live like there’s no tomorrow? I mean most of them put the cliched “live, laugh, love” on their info or description box but do they really? No. I doubt it. Their not living since they are constantly on their Facebooks or texting, they don’t laugh because they don’t wanna look stupid (and if they do it’s one of those shallow or fake laughs); and they think they love but they don’t really–because in order to love, you have to live and if being on your phone all day instead of talking to real people around you is considered living then your not loving either. 

Instead of quoting Gandhi on FB and leaving it at that, why not take a step further and actually do what you say? If you put a “Be the change you want to see in the world” quote and not do anything about it then your only depriving yourself of the life you really/secretly wanna live. The youth of today has to realize that if they follow their inspirations from their idols or their influential people then they will realize how rewarding it is to be yourself rather than showing what you can be. Live your life, seriously.

 

Peace & Love,

~Bena…

Work Hard, Play Later

After a semester’s worth of hard work and all-nighters, I decided it was time to relax and rejuvenate! So I recently went and got my very first facial! I was excited and could not wait to put those cucumbers on my eyes! (even though they really don’t do anything). I decided to go with the “Deep Cleansing Facial”– I figured it has the word facial in it so it should be relaxing right?

Yeah…no. At first it started off great! I was so happy, excited, and felt relaxed. However, 15 minutes into it, she started squeezing my face, pinching my face with this metal tool, and tears filled my eyes. My heart was racing because of the excruciating pain. And to top it all off she had the steam machine going directly in front of my nose; I could barely breathe. What’s happening?! It was torture; there were several times I wanted to jump from the chair and say ‘Just stop!’

But no. I figured since it was my first time, and she is a licensed esthetician, she knows what she is doing. After that hell, she cleansed and toned my face, massaged my face with herbal and relaxing lotions, and put on a cooling mask–the facial, in my mind, has just begun. When I got home and thought about my experience, I found myself laughing and could not help but apply this spa experience as an analogy to life.

In life, ladies and gentlemen, we will see hardships; if you want something good, if you want something meaningful, something that makes you happy– you have to work hard.

You will cry, you will sweat, you will bleed. Life will push you, squeeze you, hurt you, and slap unpleasant things on your face. But if you bear the pain, have some patience, and work hard, you will enjoy the end result. My point in all this is, work hard in the beginning so you get it out of the way. Because when you relax and bask in the presences of your success, you forget about the pain you endured–it is all in the past. In the end, when life hands you that “cooling green facial mask”, you know that the hard work and hell is behind you. You have worked hard, and now you enjoy.

 

Peace & Love,

~Bena…

P.S. the image above is from a spa but it is not the one I went to, so my opinions in this post is not reflective of the above spa. 

Happy New Year 2013: New Year, New Promises

Wow, after four months of no blogging you guys are still here…thanks! And what surprised me even more, was that I even gained a few followers along the way! Thank you for believing in me.

Now the reason why I did not blog for so long is because I am a full-time student and my area of study is healthcare; the amount of material we need to study is not enough to fit in the time frame given; so you can imagine I basically had no social life, let alone have the chance to blog, unfortunately. But, don’t fret my dears because I am back!! (Winter Break)

Starting off a New Year allows one to look back at the previous year, evaluate what they could have done better, and see what area of their life they can improve.

Last year while watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve Party on NBC, I kept hearing about the new Blackberry Bold. I remember the commercial so vividly, “Be Bold”. Yeah, that’s what I will be in 2012…I will be bold! I thought it was great, it got me all amped up, and what better change than to be yourself and be confident. It was perfect.

But now it’s 2013…what of it now? Well since they didn’t come up with a new BlackBerry bold or gold or whatever, I thought of something. Being bold should not only be restricted to 2012, it should be all the time. Similarly to how the start of the New Year is not the only time to make changes in one’s life, being bold can occur at any time.

Also, overtime, we are all guilty of forgetting our resolutions and the promises we make to ourselves and others during the start of the New Year. I forgot to be bold during that job interview in February ’12, I forgot to be bold in that competition during the summer of ’12, ya get the picture.

So my dear friends, set out exciting plans for yourself, travel to an exotic place, talk to that person you’ve been too shy to talk to, learn a new hobby, try a different restaurant, surprise yourself!

In the words of Rihanna, “shine bright like a diamond”, or enchant in gold, whatever it is, make it spectacular because there is no one else like you and there is no one else that can do what you do. Happy New Year!

 

 

Peace & Love,

~Bena…

Eid Mubarak!

Eid-it Mubarak! Roza wa namaz-it kabool! Dah khili Haajia Ghazia!

Upon entering the homes of relatives, these warm, familiar, and welcoming phrases are excitedly exchanged between Afghan families during Eid. Today marked the first day of Eid al-Fitr; the end of the month long fast Ramadan. During this holy holiday we visit family members and friends over the course of three days. “In Afghanistan,” my parents would recall, “all the stores, banks, shops, etc., were closed during Eid. It is a holiday reserved for spending time with family, friends, and celebrating the end of Ramadan.” For Eid, we buy new clothes, visit family, and prepare for guests by making sure we have a ton of sweets!

On the first day, it’s custom to visit the eldest relatives like your grandparents, older uncles, aunts, etc. But before that, we visit the Mosque for the morning prayer. On the second day, you visit other family and friends; and lastly, on the third day you stay at home an await guests to be flooding to your house! Since Afghan families are quite big and there’s not enough time to visit so many relatives within three days, your guests usually stay for fifteen to twenty minutes; which is why we offer tons of sweets and cakes with tea during Eid to guests since they won’t be staying long for lunch or dinner.

I was able to snag a pic of this delicious wheat roat. It’s like sweet bread with kalonji seeds sprinkled on top.

just one of the many cakes we put out for Eid

Also during Eid, the adults give money to the young kids. On the first day of Eid your parents are usually the first to give you your “Eid-i” aka Eid money :)

All in all, now that I think about it, Eid is kind of like Christmas but without the hassle of giving gifts. The gift we give one another is priceless–it’s to forgive and forget. Whatever argument or dispute you had with your enemy you try to push it aside during the time of Eid and start fresh, because Ramadan is all about patience and forgiveness and so you should forgive your enemies and celebrate the holy holiday with them. Visit your enemies, let bygones be bygones and start fresh.

By the way, today August 19th marked the 93rd anniversary of Afghanistan’s independence from Britain. A quick little interesting fact for ya there ;)

‘Till next time, peace & love,

~Bena…

Afghan Meal: Kabuli Palou

In Afghan culture, if you’re hosting a big party or family gathering the two key dishes you would want to have are rice and meat. Tonight I will introduce the rice, Kabuli Palou, the most fanciest of rices. It’s like the Ferrero Rocher of chocolates, the Cartier of jewelry, the creme brulee of desserts, the…well you get the point ;)

 

Ingredients: rice, raisins, sliced carrots, sliced almonds, sliced pistachios, Gravy Master seasoning and browning sauce, orange food coloring, green cardamom, olive oil

1. Soak 6 cups of rice in water for 4 hours. I used diamond rice brand, but you can use any other brand
2. Next, boil water in a big pot, adding orange food coloring so the rice turns a golden color.
3. Drain the rice and place in boiling water. Leave for 15 mins
4. Then, drain it
5. In another pot we will make the gravy
6. This is made using 2 full glasses of chicken broth (you can use beef or lamb, etc.). Add about half tsp of the seasoning and browning sauce, add a little more than half glass of olive oil, add half tsp green cardamom, 1 tsp salt, and allow it to come to a boil.
7. Add this gravy on top of the rice and mix it
8. In another pot, mix half cup of olive oil, 16 oz of thinly sliced carrots, 1 full cup of raisins, half cup of sliced almonds, half cup sliced pistachios, and swirl for about 5 mins. Let’s call the ingredients in this pot ‘little treasures’
9. Make a huge hole in the middle of the rice and bury the ‘little treasures’ inside. Cover the pot tightly and leave in oven for 350 degrees for 30 mins.
10. When the half hour is up, dig up the ‘little treasures’ carefully, removing the rice on top with a spatula and pouring it in a separate plate. When you get the ‘little treasures’, pour them in a different plate (you’ll see why later)
11. Now, pour back the rice that you removed from the top, in order to fill in the hole.
12. Pour the ‘little treasures’ on top of the rice
13. Your finally done, enjoy
14. This whole process should take about 1 hr (not including the rice soaking in the water of course :)

 

Nooshe jaan!

~Bena…

Afghan Meal: Borani Badinjan

Borani Badinjan= fried eggplant (in olive oil, so it’s much more healthier) appetizer for about 6 people. It’s pronounced Borani Baanjaan, the “d” is silent :)

Ingredients:  5 medium sized skinny eggplants, 2 small tomatoes, 1 small green and red bell peppers, half clove of garlic, cilantro, olive oil, 1 tsp. salt, half tsp. black pepper, and Afghan homemade yogurt.

1. Wash and peel the eggplants, then cut them horizontally so you have eggplant circles.
2. Now fry the pieces in a fry pan on medium heat. Add half cup of olive oil and fry about 10-15 circles at a time.
3. When they turn a brownish-golden yellow color, take them out.
4. After you’re done frying the eggplants, slice the tomatoes and layer them. Slice the bell peppers as well.
5. On top of the tomatoes, layer the bell peppers. And then layer the cooked, fried eggplants on top of the bell peppers. We do this so the tomatoes and bell peppers add flavor to the eggplants.
6. Then, repeat for rest of eggplants–layer away!
7. In between layers, add chop half clove of garlic and cilantro. This will give the eggplants more flavor.
8. Leave it on low heat for about 15 minutes so it steams, cover the fry pan tightly.
9. When it’s cooked and spread out in a platter, add Afghan homemade yogurt on top, sprinkle in some dried mint leaves, cilantro, and you’re done!
10. This whole process should take about an hour.

Nooshe Jaan!

~Bena…

Running: from Afghanistan to the Olympics

Like any other morning, I turned on the news while making myself breakfast, occasionally glancing at the t.v. screen for any serial killers I should watch out for. This morning, I saw Meredith Vierra interviewing a young woman, a young Muslim woman. She’s wearing a headscarf, definitely Muslim. Probably Lebanese, Egyptian?

“Tahmina Kohistani is a practicing muslim and will complete in Islamic uniform”

Kohistani..that sounds so familiar…oh! Hammasa Kohistani the Afghan woman who won Miss England…maybe Tahmina’s Afghan as well…nah

“Do you feel that that will limit you as a sprinter?”

“No, I never think like that it disturbs me”

“What do you think is the likelihood that you will win a medal?”

“It’s very difficult to win medal from Olympic game, like a dream if I win medal, I think I will start new way for girls and women in Afghanistan …”

WHOA ho ho! REWIND thank goodness for DVR

“…I think I will start new way for girls and women in Afghanistan and believe they can do everything they want”

Wow, I’m very proud. Even though she’s a long shot from competing in the finals, it’s still something. Especially considering she is the only female on her team from Afghanistan and only the third Afghan woman ever to represent Afghanistan at the Olympics. Seeing Tahmina in a headscarf and not having the support of her country makes me sad. When I asked my parents if women had to wear headscarfs when they were in Afghanistan they say, “headscarfs? women wore high heels, mini skirts, some dyed their hair blonde–if you weren’t fashionable, you were talked about by the women and the men as well.” My mother tells me it’s not easy for them to just ditch their headscarfs after the Taliban regime and their rules. Some women keep it on because of fear and perhaps because that is what they became accustomed to. \

Regardless, it makes me proud that Tahmina built up the courage to compete; I admire her bravery and courage. She inspired me. If she can make changes from a war torn country with no facilities, then I, coming from a modern and well-developed society, have no excuse not to make changes as well, inspiring young women in all aspects of life.

Berry “Martinis”

Hello Everyone!

Tonight’s recipe will be a very quick, easy, and light dessert. I figured since during iftar you might have a heavy meal, a light dessert would be nice. (Iftar is the time when you break your fast; read previous post “Why Muslims Fast” )

Ingredients: Blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, and Jell-O (Strawberry flavored)

1) Prepare Jell-O mix according to directions on the box.

2) When it’s ready, pour into small cups or glasses and leave it in the fridge for about an hour so it hardens up a little

3) Now, you have a nice, flat surface where you can sprinkle the berries :)

I like to use these mini Martini glasses because, well, they’re mini so you are forced to put only a little bit of Jell-O without feeling guilty, and then topping it off with some healthy berries! I don’t know about you, but in my mind the berries cancel out the carb/sugars from the jello.

Now I know I said I will be posting Afghan Meals or desserts this week, and you’re probably thinking, “Well, what’s Afghan about this?”  Well…the Jell-O is halal ;)

halal= not made from pork or pig gelatin

 

Peace & love,

Bena…